For those of you who are too young to remember the Dave Clark Five, welcome to most of the world. I don't remember them at all.

One listen, and you think you're hearing the Beatles. However, DC5 fans are a rabid, loyal lot, and they can offer a billion reasons they were as good or better than those boys from Liverpool.

Of course, the reason I mention the band is because their lead singer, Mike Smith, died this week from complications of pneumonia. He had been paralyzed a few years back in a fall, and I think he had been in care somewhere ever since.

So, I thought: Hey, time for a quick history lesson. Here's what you need to know about the Dave Clark Five to come off like a pro:

- Their first big hit was "Glad All Over," and it hit American charts soon after the Beatles did in 1964.

- The band is named after its drummer. They would set up on stage with the drums out front and Mike Smith off to the side.

- There is a ton of debate as to whether Dave Clark actually played on the band's records. The band says absolutely; some historians say otherwise.

- Their biggest chart hit in America was "Over and Over," which hit No. 1. I do believe it was their only No. 1 in the states.

- The Dave Clark Five is now really the Dave Clark Three, as sax player Denis Payton died in December.

- Their anthem "Glad All Over" is kind of a fight song for the Blackpool football club.

And it's a happy song, so I'll pop a little video of it here in honor of the late, great Mike Smith.

A couple of days ago, regular RyanWelton.com reader Toad described the state of music in 2008 as something related to polished doo-doo.

That's a fair assessment relative to what is being pushed by corporations into stores and onto radio stations. In the interest of full disclosure, I listen to mainstream radio to hear what's playing, not because I get general enjoyment from it. Part of my mission with this blog is to be able to expound upon music trends, and without listening to the radio, I can't really be a reliable resource for that information.

In a nutshell, my assessment is this: Our collective tastes have degraded, primarily due to an increasing resignation among critics that anything upon anything can be music and, therefore, be art. Furthermore, the integration of television and Internet with music combined with the rising influence of tweens relative to purchasing power is a virtual death knell for great music on the radio.

In the 1970s, pop radio was the environment for kids 14 to 19. Today it's the place for kids from 9 to 14. It's an observation, and I could be wrong about this. However, it seems to me that kids closer to college age probably get most of their music online.

Not that most 16-year-olds have great taste in music, but those of us in our 30s and 40s are the ones who have to suffer anytime we turn on the radio, which usually only happens these days when we're in the car. But we grew up with great, great 1970s and 1980s music, some of the best songs ever written. And that kids would want (actually WANT) to listen to Miley Cyrus albums indicates to me that kids these days have no idea how fun it is to be a kid -- a rambunctious, rebellious teenager.

However, this rant isn't about how to force teens and, thus, the mass market to change collective tastes. This is about helping YOU, the fair ryanwelton.com visitor, to discover great new music on a regular basis.

It doesn't matter what kind of music you listen to, either. The process is the same.

First and foremost, you have to subscribe to Rhapsody or a service like it. For $13, I can listen to almost anything: Individual songs, full albums, anything. Roughly 95 percent of all established artists have deals with Rhapsody to include their work.

Secondly, you should become a regular visitor to MetaCritic's music section. MetaCritic is a site that gathers critical opinion about all sorts of media, sorting it in a way that consumers can get a sneak-peek at those opinions.

Part of the process of reviewing the notes on this site is in deciding which publications fit your tastes best. However, MetaCritic is great in organizing information in such a way that music lovers can focus on the best-reviewed material out there.

Lastly and most important: Music lovers have to delve through the trash to find treasure. No matter how you gather information about new music, you have to listen to albums from people you have never heard of in order to discover new gems. Most every great song and album I have discovered in the past three or four years has come from a lengthy process of trial and error.

On Rhapsody, once you find something or somebody you like, you should refer to categories such as "similar artists" to expand your musical horizons. Your obligation at that point, I'd submit, is to tell other folks when you find a gem.

Hell, I know I do enough of that!

To say that all music nowadays is crap is fine. You know, whatever. There is a ton of truth in it; however, there are more singer-songwriters, more serious artists than ever before. It is a statistical, quantifiable fact.

The process to discover that music, however, is totally the onus of the consumer. Radio won't do it for you. Corporations won't. VH1 and MTV won't.

It's on us.

Boy, the Billboard charts get less action than Clay Aiken, and that's saying something.

Most of the hits pretty much keep their positions, except a handful of big movers. Both Jordin Sparks and Ray J move up big this week, respectively, with "No Air" and "Sexy Can I." The former moved up 10 to No. 13, and the latter moved up 11 to No. 18.

I don't have a problem with either song, like I noted last week. In fact, I kinda dig 'em.

However, the two giant movers this week are polished turds, as Toad so aptly called most of today's hit music. Moving from No. 100 all the way to No. 28 is Flo Rida with Timbaland and a song called "Elevator." I call it a song only because I don't feel like really letting loose on it.

It stuns me beyond belief that anybody could listen to this. And to think, our parents had a problem with what we listened to. Ha! This is beyond terrible. OK, I said it.

And then moving from No. 57 to 34 is Mariah Carey with "Touch My Body." The chords and the groove prove quite interesting, but the song's writers decided to give up on melody completely. It's really just a polished turd.

Where's the hope for mankind? It's in Sara Bareilles, whose tune "Love Song" climbs to No. 4 this week. If you have lost all faith in pop music, this should bring you back. What a great song. I love this chick.

One of the frustrating things about discussing American Idol with other people who watch is that this show makes us all equal relative to technical music criticism.

I struggle to not play the I'm-a-musician-and-you're-not card.

But I'll be honest. I don't think any of the Idol women are worth a damn. There is not one great voice in the bunch, not even the Irish chick (Carly Smithson) upon whom MCA dumped $2.5 million.

Asia'h Epperson, who I like generally, made a costly mistake tonight in singing Eric Carmen's "All By Myself."

First, people: Quit calling this Celine's record. Eric Carmen took it to No. 1, but only after he adapted it from the music of Sergei Rachmaninoff. This is a classic, classic song, derived from a classical piece, and for it to be tainted by the supremely overrated Celine Dion is a shame.

Secondly, people: This song should be retired from Idol history because only one person has done it justice, LaToya London. Not only did she do it justice, she did it better than anybody has ever done it, including Carmen, the hitmaker.

To me, that's the difference in Idol four years ago and today. The vocal talent just isn't there today. Season 3 was the real deal. That Jennifer Hudson and London were in the same Top 12 emphasizes how good that season was, and while I preferred Hudson, LaToya was the best singer consistently all season.

Sigh. That's the way this show goes, but I grow more and more frustrated each week and each season with the degradation in talent. While I know Randy Jackson is a "musician" and Paula Abdul is a "singer," for the life of me, I can't figure out how Simon Cowell, the businessman, ended up with the best ear of the three.

I'm being facetious in all but one way. Simon absolutely has the best ear among the judges. Sure, it's subjective. However, when listening to the dudes last night, it's clear who the best singer is, by a mile, bar none: David Archuleta. I couldn't give a deuce less if he wins. I'm not picking up a phone for him. I am telling you, having been an active musician for 30-some-odd years that he has the best pipes of the bunch.

Take that for what it's worth. Damn, I played that musician card.

I would also say that Chikezie, Robbie Carrico and David Hernandez have potential, adding that Danny Noriega, to me, is a super sleeper. With some work, I think he could be phenomenal. But aside from that observation, musically, it will not only be hard for them to keep up with Archuleta, it will be tougher for them to live up to the history of this show.

There has been only a handful of great male singers on this show, one of which is Clay Aiken, who I can't stand to listen to, personally, but who I acknowledge has a terrific vocal instrument. Chris Daughtry is another, and he's Idol's first legitimate rock star. To be fair, Bo Bice's voice is actually very solid, too, even though he's had not nearly the amount of success he had hoped for.

Personally, for me, I've always thought Elliott Yamin is the best male singer the show has produced.

But every other guy in every other season of Idol has been average to below average vocally. I mean to the point of downright bad.

Yet the real comparative history all Idol contestants have to battle is that set by the show's female contestants. And from Kelly Clarkson to Carrie Underwood, to LaToya London and the great Jennifer Hudson, if you can't do it like they do it, it's not really even worth discussing.

Archuleta is in the conversation as of now.

But there simply isn't one female in this bunch even worth whispering about at this point. So, do you want to know who was the best of the bunch tonight?

None of them. Same as last week.

Or perhaps it should be LaToya London, brought back from the Idol dead to do "All By Myself" one more time in hopes of shaming any and all future contestants from even considering it.

For the past couple of weeks, when asked who I thought brought it and who left it on American Idol, I've consistently said "the kid" as my pick to beat.

The kid is David Archuleta, and after Tuesday night's rendition of John Lennon's "Imagine," I suspect all those who shrugged when I issued those sentiments will understand why I think he's the favorite to win Idol Season 7.

In fact, I think his performance was not only the first "moment" of the season, I think it was comparable to Carrie Underwood's "Alone" performance in Season 4, the one in which Simon Cowell proclaimed that she would win the title and sell more records than any other Idol in history. It's probably more accurate, spatially, to compare it to LaToya London singing "All By Myself" in Season 3.

Here's the deal with "the kid" though. Not only do I think David Archuleta wins American Idol, I think he becomes the show's first legitimate male pop star.

He'll do Broadway. He'll have a legitimate hit record on mainstream radio. He'll be on TV. He is essentially a perfect pop star, and here's why I think this competition is o-v-e-r.

1. He will dominate the tween and teen vote. Tweens and teens will vote a billion times for him. One look at DialIdol.com tonight, and I saw that David had a 30 share while second place had like a 7. Unless somebody from the girls' side of things picks it up and fast, David is going to build up an insurmountable edge in teenybopper girls.

2. He will win the grandmama vote. Grandmamas like good voices, good personalities and clean-cut kids. The Kid's got it all in that regard.

3. He will at least partially pick up the musician vote. Yes, Jason Castro can play a guitar, although it's unfortunate he's yet been able to tune it. And, yes, David Cook can play the chords from Free's "All Right Now."

However, Idol is still a singer's competition, and David Archuleta is far and away the best male singer. Based on all that I've heard, he's far and away the one singer I'd pick to work with, to record a demo for me, etc.

What's scary is that it's early.

Fact is, the reason Archuleta didn't sing the first verse to "Imagine" is because it referenced the notion that there is no heaven and hell. David's family is uber-religious, and that doesn't bug me one iota, nor does it sway me toward his camp relative to the show.

However, the way he handled the question from the judges was brilliant, focusing on the positive instead of making it a point to preach to 33 million people, which would have been an enormous turn off to voters. So, if I could add a No. 4 to my list, I'd note that David's obviously a savvy kid. He's been in this parade before.

Now, if I didn't review everyone else this week, it's because THE story when you wake up tomorrow will center on Archuleta. And what could make him all the more of a phenomenon this year is that it's not only becoming clear that he's the most talented of this season's Idol crop, but he still looks like an underdog. At his stature, he'll always look like an underdog.

But with that voice, I assure you, he will be crowned Idol champ come May.

Since I moved to the Oklahoma City area in 2005, I have not played one gig.

For awhile it was because I was getting acclimated to my new day job and the time required to do that, particularly the possibilities that I would be needed after hours. For awhile it was because I just didn't think there were many places in central Oklahoma that would be interested in a jazz pianist lounge player.

However, I'm starting to book some gigs, so if you know of any place in central Oklahoma that has a piano, give me a shout. My first one will be at Othello's in Norman on Campus Corner on May 17 from 7 to 11. I'll play jazz standards primarily, but I'll throw in some surprises for sure -- and play it by ear depending upon the crowd.

Playing live is the lifeblood of any musician, and it should be. There is nothing that will improve your chops faster. Guaranteed.

Be sure to check out my YouTube page to get a feel of what I'll be playing. Hope to see you there!

One week after starting a Top 3 countdown of what I believe to be the best of mainstream pop, country and/or R&B radio, I realized I could never contain myself to only three.

So, starting with this Monday, welcome to Ryan's Top 10, an arbitrary organization of my favorite songs of the week. There is nothing in-depth about this list, nor is it a reflection of my tastes as a musician or a songwriter.

If a tune makes this list, it means I turn it up in the car.

No. 10: Graham Colton, "Best Days"

Not so sure I'm sold on the song, and I do believe I will hate it in exactly two weeks. However, Graham is from Oklahoma City, and I'm all about supporting Oklahoma musicians.

***

No. 9: James Morrison, "Wonderful World"

Still no play on mainstream American radio. Argh.

***

No. 8: Linkin Park, "Shadow Of The Day"

A woman was sentenced to two years in prison last week for stalking lead singer Chester Bennington, which has me wondering. What kind of rock-n-roll name is CHESTER BENNINGTON!?

Nevertheless, this is still a terrific song.

***

No. 7: Jordin Sparks w/Chris Brown, "No Air"

I wonder how much of this song's chart strength so far has come from Idol fans because I've yet to hear it on the radio.

***

No. 6: Ray J w/Yung Berg, "Sexy Can I"

OK, I admit it. This is catchy. Dangit.

***

No. 5: Sean Kingston, "Take You There"

I've about had it with any singer using a Jamaican accent, whether he or she is Jamaican-mon or not. It's terrible. However, this song has an 80s groove and a very catchy chorus, and I'll give credit where credit is due. The lyrics aren't half bad in spots, but I suspect that is strictly a product of low, low expectations.

***

No. 4: Lifehouse, "First Time"

Ever since hitting it big with the biggest hit of 2001, "Hanging By A Moment," Lifehouse has been one of my favorite adult contemporary bands. They are so competent when it comes to songwriting and production. They're like Hamburger Helper, nothing fancy but always consistent and hearty.

***

No. 3: Maroon 5, "Wake Up Call"

This is one of America's best bands, and the funkiest white band since Jamiroquai. Great song. Great lyrics. I love violent lyrics.

***

No. 2: Billy Ray Cyrus w/Miley Cyrus, "Ready, Get Set, Don't Go"

First, I'm not being creepy. This has one of the strongest hooks of any pop song over the past couple of years. Miley's voice is actually pretty solid, although I really despise the primary lyric, that "Get Ready, Get Set ... Please Don't Go."

However, no lie. The music hook is so good I can't get away from it. Furthermore, the vocal production is tight Americana goodness. OK, perhaps utilizing the word "tight" within 10 feet of the name "Miley Cyrus" warrants a restraining order.

Nevertheless, embarrassingly good tune.

***

No. 1: Rascal Flatts, "Winner At A Losing Game"

I mentioned last week how much this song reminded me of The Eagles. However, the sound and vibe really take me back to the early 1980s, which I think is one of the best eras for music ever. It reminds me of Poco, of solo Glenn Frey.

Alas, I spent years hating Rascal Flatts' sound but secretly liking their songs, particularly "What Hurts The Most" and "These Days." However, this song literally makes me want to champion everything they do. By a mile, this is the best current pop hit on the charts this week.

Do you remember last week when President George W. Bush declared Kosovo to be independent? Riots ensued in Belgrade, Serbia.

All this talk of eastern Europe takes me back to my days in Dr. Goldsmith's classes at the University of Oklahoma. History and in particular geopolitical history has always been one of my favorite academic subjects.

But the big pop culture talk coming from the events of the past week centers on a video taken during the riots of young women in Serbia looting. Some have called her "riot girl," although there seems to be more than one the filmmaker follows.

Can't tell. White people all look the same to me. (Kidding.)

However, this YouTube clip blew the hell up this week to the tune of more than 1 million page views. The filmmaker, called gvantanamo describes the clip as such:

Dear viewers, seeing how this video has become hugely popular I think that is my duty to explain the whole situation.
The first part of the video is happening in a store at Slavija square in Belgrade, Serbia at the time of the torching of a McDonalds restaurant near by, when I by accident recorded these two girls. Two hours later, at Terazije square, I recorded two other girls ("Jesi li nasla broj?"), and shortly after I ran into the blondes from earlier who were emptying a store in Sremska Street. Astonished by their persistence on getting new clothes on a 100% off sale, I decided to further record them.



I would like to thank everyone for their support, and to Albanians, Croatians, Muslims, Germans... Martians and all others who are gloating after this happened, I would like to say that these are only marginal appearances, and that the huge majority of citizens of Serbia are normal and honest people, and I am proud to be one
of them.

On the face of it, this seems like a home movie that has caught the attention of Web surfers. But at 1 million views plus, what this video constitutes is living history. When professors talk about these riots years, decades and perhaps centuries from now, this video will be invoked.

And this is a terrific example as to how we are ALL journalists. There is no license to become one. There are no degree requirements. Not sure if gvantanamo realized his handiwork would be categorized as vital citizen journalism, but good on this dude/chick for posting this.

What I really liked is the obvious sense of national pride the filmmaker has in the face of knowing that the video he posted could make others think less of Serbians. Frankly, it was a very gutsy thing to do.

We got to watch a new SNL this week for the first time in months, now that the writers' strike is over. But would the writers be on their game?

To be honest, the opening sketch, featuring Fred Armisen as Barack Obama and Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton, was way too long and just not funny. It looked like it could be a long night.

But then we got this, a digital short for a new period medicine called Annuale:

On a night filled with several funny moments, this was one of the best in recent memory. However, there's a big reason this week's SNL was funny: Tina Fey.

A writer on SNL from 1997 to just a couple years ago, including time as SNL's "head writer," Fey's writing is edgy, funny and relevant. Take her commentary this weekend on Hillary Clinton's presidential aspirations.

Loved it. Good re-start for SNL.

Perhaps I was taking a nap most of 2006, but I never saw this incredibly, incredibly funny SNL video, in which Natalie Portman details a day in her life via a rap song.

I suspect this was written by Chris Parnell, who I still think is one of the two or three most talented guys to be on SNL the past decade. Anyway, this is brilliance.

Those of us who consider ourselves children of the '80s likely remember the group Shalamar. With hits like "Dead Giveaway" and "Dancing in the Sheets," they tore up the middle part of the charts during the decade.

And they propelled Howard Hewitt and Jody Watley into successful solo careers.

But it was a little-known song from 1982 that I wanted to feature today. Called "A Night To Remember," Shalamar took this soul-dance track to No. 44 in the U.S.

Unfortunately, I don't really remember this from my radio-listening days in the early part of the '80s. But when I played this with a group back in 2004, they assured me this was the jam back in '82.

Then again, they were all in their early 20s, so what did they know about 1982, right? I thought Asia and Toto ruled the planet back then!

But what I love about this song, from a musician's perspective, is the turnaround at 2:01 of the video below. It's not one of those conventional, one-step-up key changes. If I remember right, the progression of the song completely changes at that point.

They simply do not make songs this good anymore. Period.

One of my favorite things to discuss about jazz is just how much the genre is dependent upon order. I've played the piano for more than 30 years, and it wasn't until I understood this order that I understood jazz and how to play it.

Don't get me wrong. I fully comprehend the improvisational nature of jazz. However, for those who think jazz is nothing but a bunch of cats playing whatever they'd like and hoping it sounds right, think again.

On the other hand, I would expect that most of you jazz aficionadoes get this.

Why I Bring This Up

At work today, a colleague and I were discussing the value of proper grammar, and he said that he was more of a math guy, particularly strong with numbers. And I said, "Well then, you are probably terrific with English and don't even know it, and I'll tell you why."

So, I explain to him that while English is by far the most complex and pattern-breaking language on the planet, it's still formulated upon patterns.

But this isn't about English; it's about jazz.

However, I should note that in college, I struggled with writing at a scholastic level until I fully understood that the written English language is about adhering to rules and patterns. Again, enough with school. Besides, my best subject was beer.

Following Along With The Standards

Jazz players typically work off what they call a "lead sheet." It's a type of sheet music that features time signatures, keys, chords, syncopations and the order a song will be played in by the band.

So, when you're out at the jazz club, and you hear the band start up "My Foolish Heart," they'll often play the song the first time through pretty conventionally, meaning that "you recognize it."

Then all hell breaks loose, right?

And by the time you're on your third scotch, you've determined these guys are the best musicians ever because it sounds like they're playing nonsense in a way that pleases you aesthetically. It's both fascinating and amazing.

However, regardless of what you hear, they're following the lead sheet, supplementing it with their individual runs, voicings, progressions while maintaining the order of the instructions before them.

Think of it like this: You know the part of the song when the drummer does his thing, banging away, only to have the entire combo come back into the song at the same time perfectly, making you wonder, "How in the heck did they do that?"

It's because each one of them is counting 1-2-3-4 (or whatever the signature is) in his or her head. Say the drummer is scheduled to do his thing for 32 beats. As a pianist, I count 1-2-3-4 eight times and then come back in as the lead sheet instructs, and frankly, it requires a fair amount of concentration.

What makes the art of jazz so beautiful though is in the cooperation between its individual parts, even more than the beauty of each player's individuality. I'll give you an example.

About five years ago, I was called at home by a friend of mine who told me this hot jazz singer from Louisiana was in town to do one night at a club in Dallas, and they were in desperate need of a pianist right then and there.

Like in five minutes. He said, "Grab a jacket. Put on some slacks, and get your ass here."

Beauty. But I was nervous. Didn't know what they would be playing, although I knew it would be standards and that they would have lead sheets waiting for me. Mind you, I am not a pro pro.

I am probably good enough to be a "pro," but that's a small "p."

The bassist, who apparently had worked with some big-P pros there in Texas, tells me, "Kid, you'll be a-ok if you follow the lead sheet and trust us."

Fair enough, I suppose. And it's a plus that I was familiar with all the standards, a must for any jazz player. If you want to learn jazz, you have to have to have to learn the standards. Buy what they call a Real Book, and get a really good Fake Book.

More on those some other day.

However, as I played that night, I took to heart a couple lessons that had been handed down to me. First came from my dad, who engrained into me the pattern theories behind jazz. He would show me something cool on the piano, and I would ask, "So, how do I do it in THIS instance?"

And he would say, "Don't memorize the chord. Memorize the pattern."

All that means is that the pianist learns the note-to-note spacing of any chording or progression. For example, you start with note A, and then move up 3 half steps for note B, a whole step for note C and a half step for note D. Or whatever.

Same goes with any runs that a jazz musician plays. It's all orderly. The second piece of advice I took to this gig came from a sax player named Richard, with whom I'd play periodically in Dallas, who emphasized that as long as your runs were comprised of notes that were valid for the scale of the chord you were playing, you'd be fine.

Lesson noted: If you want to play jazz, you have to master your scales.

With those points duly noted, I played what I think was my best gig ever that night, not so much because of anything I did, but because I followed the rules (if you will) and trusted my combo mates to do the same.

And it sounded freaking awesome.

Truth is, I was solely a pop player until about the time my dad got sick with cancer in late 2001. However, there was something about the knowledge transfer from him to me during that period before he died in 2003 that clicked. It absolutely clicked.

It reminds me of hearing about Oscar Peterson battle with esteem issues as a young player, thinking he'd never be able to play like the greats. Someone told him to break each measure down note by note, chord by chord and practice until the repetition becomes natural.

Until it clicks.

Once a player or a group gets really good at it, they can then do all sorts of crazy stuff with it. For example, the bassist and guitarist and horn players can stick with the song basics while the pianist goes on what they call a diminished run, which essentially makes the song sound really dissonant. All the while, the order of the tune is kept in tact.

Another way of thinking of it is this: If the progressions of a tune include B-flat major, E-flat major, D-minor-9th and G-13, which I think are part of the aforementioned "My Foolish Heart," then the musician can play whatever he darned well pleases during the improvisational part of the piece so long as it adheres to the structure set forth in those chords.

So, while you hear DISORDER, the musicians themselves are adhering to what I'd call ARTISTIC order. And that's absolutely why I love playing (or attempting to play) jazz. It's because the whole of a well-trained group, even if they have never met before, can produce something beautiful in one take and make you think they've played together forever.

And all the while, there's not a one of them who has any idea beforehand what it will sound like.

And I assure you, that process is 100 percent about patterns and repetition and, therefore, it's mathematic.

Now enjoy my favorite pro of all time, the late great Bill Evans and his combo's take on "My Foolish Heart."

Here's my quick take of Frank Sinatra's classic, "Lady Is A Tramp."

For more of my videos or to subscribe, visit youtube.com/soonerryan2000.

As Flo Rida dominates the Billboard Hot 100 charts again this week -- for the 9th consecutive week -- it's easy to evaluate chart movers and shakers.

Because there are few.

Singles chart movement is minimal with few exceptions.

On the down side of things, digital hit "New Soul" by Yael Naim fell from No. 7 to 42, making one wonder whether she's reached critical mass. The song gained its sudden popularity as a commercial for an Apple computer product and died its quick chart death as a result of zero mainstream radio airplay and dwindling digital sales.

The big Top 20 mover this week comes from Lupe Fiasco feat. Matthew Santos with the song "Superstar," which moved from No. 21 to 14 in its 10th week on the chart, and its got Top 10 written all over it. However, I'm not sure what all the hype is.

It's not a catchy song nor is it edgy.

If you asked me, that li'l video (above) is virtually unbearable. But what do I know.

One Republic bounced up 13 notches from 33 to 20 this week with "Stop and Stare," the follow up to their giant hit "Apologize," and while it's not as catchy as the Timbaland product, it ain't half bad.

Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown flew up 9 to No. 23 with "No Air," which I still think will be a giant hit. When compared with other songs on the chart this week, except for a handful of already huge hits, this song is about as good as it gets.

Not sure it's saying much, but again I like it. A lot, actually. This is a strong track.

But the big debut of the week comes from Brandy's little brother and Kim Kardashian's porno co-star Ray J. It's "Sexy Can I," and it moves from No. 52 to 29.

Boy, it was hard to find a clean version of this song. It's chock-full of the "n word," and there's just no reason for that in a pop song. Now, this is going to be a huge hit. Catchy hook given that it has very little music in it, and I imagine the video is much more interesting to watch than the song is to listen to.

As for next week, my gut hunch says Chris Brown's "With You" takes over the top spot given that, at No. 2, it was Billboard's "airplay gainer." Given Alicia Keys' appearance on the Grammy Awards last week, her single "No One" was the magazine's sales gainer.

However, the American music awards extravaganza is always a boon for participating artists. Amy Winehouse's "Back to Black" moved from No. 24 to 2 on the album chart this week, and Herbie Hancock basically doubled his total sales in one week for "River: The Joni Letters."

Looks like somebody cleaned up at the 2008 Brit Awards on Wednesday night. Amy Winehouse.

And by "cleaned up," I don't mean she won any awards. (She didn't.) Nor did Winehouse look particularly spiffy at the British version of the Grammy Awards. (She didn't.)

Nope, I think she cleaned up -- or should I say "out" -- a mini-bar before performing "Love is a Losing Game" and "Valerie," the latter as part of a medley from super producer Mark Ronson. Ronson was a big winner, taking home Best Male Solo honors.

Word is that dress rehearsals were so bad for Winehouse that ITV considered pulling her from the show. Apparently, a discussion between executives and Wino, behind closed doors, did the trick.

Amy wasn't up for any awards, anyway. Acts like Adele, Take That, Arctic Monkeys and Mika dominated the proceedings, and I think it's because Back to Black was technically a 2006 British album.

And, a quick check of the 2007 Brit Awards listings shows that Winehouse did win for Best Female Solo and lost in the Best Album category.

Alas, Mark Ronson's medley, featuring the very underrated Daniel Merriweather and his hit "Stop Me," was the pop culture talk of the blogosphere, but not for that performance. Check out Amy's dancing and general oddness after performances from Adele and Merriweather:

And then there was this rendition of "Love Is A Losing Game:"

Sometimes Simon Cowell is a twit.

After Tulsa's own Alaina Whitaker deftly performed Spiral Starecase's "More Today Than Yesterday," Simon praised the teenager but slammed the song.

"Spiral who?" he asked.

Perhaps the biggest criticism I could offer the American Idol Top 24 over two nights is that, of all the songs available to them in the 1960s, these are what they picked?

Except that, to me, "More Today Than Yesterday" is one of the great pop songs of my lifetime. Lyrically, it's poetic and romantic. The sentiment is simple yet profound; it's darned near spiritual. Seriously. The concept of loving somebody more today than yesterday might not reflect the consistence of a creator to His people, but it wreaks of something The Byrds might have penned.

Musically, it's perfect. If I had to pin down my favorite 25 songs of all time, which I'll do on this blog sometime, this song is a fair bet for it.

The good news is that Mr. Cowell at least recognized the rising star that could be Alaina. Given that it's easy to compare her performance to that of Chikezie from a night ago (same song), she should be a shoo-in to come back next week.

However, the fate of the other 11 women was firmly planted in song choice, and I have to say that my grumpy side came out again tonight. I do not find this to be the most talented group in Idol history. I'm not sure that anybody in this bunch is a sure thing or even close.

But Mom agrees with me tonight on one thing.

"Alaina Whitaker. Good voice. She reminds me a little bit of Carrie Underwood and she is from Tulsa. Loved the song."

So, Spiral Starecase gets another vote of confidence. And, all things equal, we'll always pull for the Oklahoma kid. Nevertheless, Alaina didn't top Mom's list this week.

That honor would go to Asia'h Epperson, the Joplin, Mo., native who sang "Piece of My Heart." First off, Joplin is practically in Oklahoma. Secondly, Asia'h was great. Not perfect. Not stunning. But she's in no danger of going anywhere anytime soon.

We agreed on Carly Smithson's performance, one Randy and Paula praised heavily but one that Simon the twit crapped on. Simon went on and on about Carly's mic technique, and it all deviated from whether or not Carly's vocal was any good.

She sang a jazz standard, "Shadow of Your Smile," and she was good. But she was not great. C'mon, people. That's a million-dollar voice? Again, Carly was solid, and she's in no danger of elimination.

But I'm not blown away.

Nor was I blown away by the Jasmine Trias starter kit known as Ramiele Malubay. She sang a Dusty Springfield tune, and she was a-ok, but if this were a porn flick ... uh, let's not go there. You get the idea. For me, there was no spark.

The judges gushed and gushed about the big voice from the little body, and all I could think is how ordinary it was. "Forgettable," as Simon the twit likes to call it.

Likewise, the judges gushed about Syesha Mercado, Idol's ABC reality show reject. If you'll recall, Syesha was on "The One," which lasted all of two weeks. She screams, and the judges automatically label her a powerhouse.

A bit of disagreement between Mom and me relative to 16-year-old Alexandrea Lushington. Mom thinks Lushington might be shown the door on Thursday, but I think she's a keeper. She's got a solid voice, a good personality and a great sense of style and how to manage herself on stage. In fact, I'm rather stunned she hadn't already been discovered for, perhaps, a Nickolodeon program.

It's not that Alexandrea was Mom's least favorite. That vote goes to Amanda Overmyer, and I have to concur. She wasn't my least favorite, but she's not nearly as edgy as everybody makes her out to be. First of all, I have seen the great Dilana, and Amanda Overmyer is not her. Amanda is pussycat to Dilana's tiger, in the same family but not terribly close.

Mom's rankings: 1. Asia'h Epperson; 2. Carly Smithson; 3. Ramiele Malubay; 4. Alaina Whitaker; 5. Brooke White.

My rankings: 1. Alaina Whitaker; 2. Carly Smithson; 3. Asia'h Epperson; 4. Alexandrea Lushington; 5. Ramiele Malubay.

She thinks Alexandrea and Joanne Borgella will be executed, er, eliminated on Thursday. But I think it will be Amy Davis and Joanne Borgella.

Believe it or not, Rick Astley was only five years older in 1988 than Idol contestant David Archuleta is now when he recorded his No. 1 hit, "Never Gonna Give You Up."

Of course, the reason I mention Rick is because the boy wonder of American Idol Season 7 sounds just like him. Rick had one of the great white-boy soul voices of the late 1980s and early 1990s, and I wouldn't suggest Archuleta is close at this juncture.

But the potential is clearly there, as evidenced in this well-done but terribly cheesy performance from Tuesday night. The well-done goes to the kid. The cheesy goes to the hokey, hokey arrangement. Could Ricky Minor have found more annoying keyboard patches with which to work?

When you've got it, you've got it.

That's what Simon Cowell told David Archuleta on Tuesday, minutes before he said the same things to Jason Castro and Aussie expatriate Michael Johns.

So, that would be the American Idol Top 3 from boys' night, right?

Think again. And this year, it's not just me judging the talent. My sainted mother has tagged along, and it's for a reason.

Those of you who have watched the show like we have since Idol's inception understand the differences in the show's demographics. The heavy voters are teenage girls, but their voting preferences have historically mimicked those of adult women -- the grandmas, if you will.

Well, the sainted nameless above-reproach mother also happens to be a grandmother, although not from any contribution of mine that we know of ... yet. Give me red wine, some pills and a willing participant, and I'm betting I can make it happen.

However, for me, the amorous mood wouldn't have a thing to do with anything I saw tonight. Tuesday's male performances were much younger overall than in previous years, much more theatrical and less relevant than ever.

Nevertheless, David Archuleta stands out like a sore thumb, but in a good way. Vocally, there's nobody on par with him yet, even though his voice cracked Peter Brady style in the middle of "Shop Around."

Stylistically, I liked Johns and Castro well enough, but Johns was extremely pitchy and dull on The Doors' "Light My Fire," and Castro's terrible guitar work killed any thought I had of giving his Lovin' Spoonful tribute a thumbs-up.

Lesson No. 1 when playing an instrument live: Tune it!

Love what Mom said about Castro: "Performance was OK as was the song but he needs a haircut." Don't think for a second that teenage girls aren't thinking the same thing. When it comes to a yum sandwich, who are these teen (better yet, tween) girls going to dial digits for -- Rasta Castro? or Davey Archuleta.

Not a contest there, podnah. Mom said of Archuleta, "Good voice. Good performance, but I didn't like the song."

It's an astute point because voters base a lot of their opinions on these songs, and The Miracles' 1960 legendary hit is not likely on any iPods or Facebook pages. On the other hand, as a lover of all things Smokey Robinson, I thought the song was a smart choice musically.

The most disagreement between myself and my parental unit, the two disparate voters we are, centered on Chikezie Eze. His version of Spiral Starecase's "More Today Than Yesterday," I thought, was tantamount to at least manslaughter.

Mom liked it. Well, she at least liked the voice behind the song.

As for the suit, we both agreed with Simon. It looked hideous, dude.

We also disagree heavily on Danny Noriega, who I am convinced will eventually take the stage in a dress. I kid. See, I'm on his side. Think he's a true-blue talent. Terrific voice. Interesting personality, and he has this David Bowie feminine vibe going.

But Mom thinks he's a goner. I don't, although I also didn't think his version of "Jailhouse Rock" was the best ever.

On the other hand, we both agreed on Robbie Carrico in that his performance of Three Dog Night's "One" was solid. Good voice, and he looks and sounds like a pro. Like Simon, I do not buy the rocker vibe one bit.

He's too clean, and we already know his history with Boyz-n-Girls United. Plus, sorry, but his voice is actually too polished for rock. Carrico is closer to the cast of RENT than he is the next Daughtry album.

But I say this is a good thing. There is no doubt in my mind that Season 7's group of male contestants is by a mile the most feminine the show has ever had. Most of these males are mere boys, and artistically, they are much closer to future Broadway stars than pop sensations.

Vive le difference!

Mom's Top 5 performances came from: 1) Michael Johns, 2) David Archuleta, 3) Robbie Carrico, 4) Chikezie, 5) Jason Castro.

And mine were: 1) The boy wonder. The kid. David Archuleta. 2) Robbie Carrico. 3) Danny Noriega. Personally, I think he's the first Idol contestant who could stand a chance of winning the competition by being MORE Broadway.

That's all I can rank. I honestly hated the rest of them.

Mom thinks Luke Menard and Noriega will get booted right off, and I say it's Menard and Jason Yeager, whose version of Moon River wasn't actually all that bad. Great song, too.

That's a wrap for the dudes, which gives me just enough time to erase everything from my Idol memory banks in time for Wednesday's performances from our Top 12 women.

To be perfectly honest, I quit watching Dancing With The Stars two seasons ago. There's only so much dancing I can take.

But after Monday night's cast announcement for the Spring 2008 season, I have a pretty clear favorite, personally: Mario.

For those of you not familiar with the 21-year-old R&B star, let me introduce you to what I believe to be one of the two or three best (if not the best) male R&B songs of the decade, How Could You.

A couple of musician's notes: a) The chorus is classic 3-chord pop. However, b) starting at 2:21 in the video begins what I believe to be the most sophisticated pop, R&B bridge in recent memory. There are at least four tremendously jazzy chord progressions.

Brilliant musicianship even if, lyrically, this song refers to something called the "ghetto Kama Sutra."

What's crazy beyond crazy is that this song never even hit the Top 40. Peaked at No. 52 in March 2005.

Word from Billboard.com that Alicia Keys and Jordin Sparks will be touring together in April has me running to the phone for tickets!

I'm lying. I might have to slit my wrists if forced to attend this. In all sincerity, it has to be a life-changing show for me to attend if it involves crowds and parking and money.

If Amy Winehouse ever comes to Oklahoma City or Tulsa, I will pay top dollar to see her. However, I wouldn't dole out the $50 to go see Ben Folds two years ago, and I revere Ben Folds. However, so much of his crowd is made up of skateboarding punk-minded poseurs.

I would rather have been mercilessly beaten by two midgets and stepped on by a bull.

I'm just not a concertgoer. Never have been; never will be.

But news of this pairing brought to mind just how down I've been on Keys for her most recent work and how optimistic I've been for Jordin. However, lest we forget, in the world of 2008 pop music, Alicia is still pretty special.

Take You Don't Know My Name from 2003, which was written by Keys, Kanye West and Harold Lilly. I love this song. Love it. But do you want to know why?

That 1970s soul vibe.

Oh, wait. There's a reason for that soul vibe. This song samples a 1976 hit called Let Me Prove My Love To You by The Main Ingredient.

OK, I'm bitter again. Glad they at least had some taste in picking out a song to use for their new creation. Enjoy The Main Ingredient, er, Alicia Keys.

Each week, I'll feature my three favorite songs of the week -- regardless of genre. The only requirement is that it not be a recognized oldie.

For example, Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time," which happens to be one of the greatest pop songs in history, could not be on this weekly list. Even if it were my jam for the week.

No. 3: James Morrison, "Wonderful World": I'll say it over and over until it sinks in: This guy should be HUGE in America. And don't misinterpret this song. It's not a sappy, happy tune. It's kind of a gut-wrencher, and it makes it all the more appealing to me.

Take the line: Who am I to dream? / Dreams are for fools / They let you down.

No. 2: Rascal Flatts, "Winner At A Losing Game": The lead singer's voice used to grate on me. However, it's grown on me. This might disturb me. I do not know.

What I do know is that this tune is very reminiscent of The Eagles.

No. 1: Linkin Park, "Shadow of the Day": I can't get over how well done this is. This isn't kiddie-band crap, like I acknowledged last week. This is work from a band who wants to be around for 20 more years.

After four hours of sleep, I was awakened by the annoying toots of a train barreling along a track in north-central Norman, Okla., early Sunday.

As I leaned over to see what time it was, it dawned on me that I was having a great dream. Not dirty, although it involves a female. Not symbolic, I don't think, and I looked it up this morning.

For the life of me, I rarely have dreams continue as I go back to sleep after being awakened. But this happened at least three times Sunday morning.

The gist of the dream centered on catching up with somebody who was one part friend, one part more (this = none of your business). And I recall the dream pretty vividly. However, the weird part is that the after effect of this dream is the good mood it put me in today.

No, I wasn't giddy sort of jubilant like somebody suffering from bi-polar disorder. This was a good mood founded upon feeling centered, like I have it together, surrounded by an overwhelming sense of optimism.

Weird, and I have no explanation for it. Perhaps I was just hyped up on endorphins or something.

However, the one thing I would divulge about the person in this dream is that she's the only woman I've "liked" who was into smooth jazz. In fact, she turned me on to the Yellowjackets. Perhaps she just dug musicians.

What I've discovered on YouTube is that there are hardly any smooth jazz videos, and the ones featuring live performances are often highly, highly corny. They make me cringe, even though the music is solid.

The song I was looking for in particular is my favorite tune from the band, called "Daddy's Gonna Miss You", and I located it via a service called imeem. Enjoy.

Saw this while running on the treadmill this morning: "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls.

Not only have I liked this song as a listener, but this is a songwriter's song. Great words. Great hook. Underrated song. Underrated li'l duo ...

Now that the writer's strike is over with, one of my television goals will be to catch up on NBC's 30 Rock